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Eph.4:26-27
INTRODUCTION
1. "There are few things sapping the strength of churches more than the
unreconciled state of so many believers. So many have matters deeply embedded
in their craws, like iron wedges forced between them-selves and other
Christians. They can’t walk together because they do not agree. When they
should be marching side by side thru this world, taking men captive for Jesus
Christ, they are acting instead like an army that has been defeated and
scattered and in their confusion have begun fighting among themselves.
Nothing saps the strength of churches more than un-resolved problems among
believers. . ." (Jay Adams, "Christian Living in the Home")
2. Anger is a sin that is often misunderstood, covered over, and excused -
& because it is not dealt with, it often hinders the solutions to other
problems - (at home, church, work, etc)
3. Fear, anger, worry are called "sister sins." [ie. related]
a. Ie. They are all "acceptable" sins (explain)
b. Also, they all focus on "SELF"
c. Rom. 12:3 - "For thru the grace given to me I say to everyone among
you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment. . . vs5 we are . . . members one of
another."
4. Many of the Proverbs focus on the sin of anger:
a. Pro. 22:24-25 "Do not associate with a man given to anger; Or go with a hot-tempered man, Or you will learn his ways And find a snare for
yourself."
b. Pro. 19:19- "A man of great anger will bear the penalty, For if you
rescue him, you will only have to do it again." - Point: We are dealing
w/a pattern of living that has to be changed - Ie. Just get- ting this fellow
thru one of his anger fits won’t solve the problem!
c. Pro. 29:11 - "A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man
keeps himself under control."
5.. Important: Uncontrolled anger is probably most dangerous because it is
widely excused
a. Ie. "You’d be this way too if you were in my shoes" - "I’m Irish" -
"I had a right to explode" - etc.
b. Fact: Uncontrolled anger is NEVER acceptable - It is SIN!
[Tell story about Don Patten & young couple - "I can’t"]
c. James 1:19-20 - ". . .everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God."
6. Of interest: The advise of the world doesn’t help much either - The
counsel of the world is "Get even" - Ie. A common idea is "Go ahead & get it
off your chest!" - NOT what God says!
7. Read Romans 12:17-21 - "Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do
what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18 If it is possible, as far as it
depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my
friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to
avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. 20 On the contrary: "If your enemy is
hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing
this, you will heap burning coals on his head." 21 Do not be overcome by
evil, but overcome evil with good."
8. Note: Do you see why it is important to start out with the goal of
pleasing God (2Cor.5:9)??
a. That kind of response takes trust in God
b. It is so easy to think "That won’t work in my case"
c. But the fact is, God’s way ALWAYS works!
9. Think about some of anger’s accomplishments:
a. Destroys home relationships - Shatters H/W ability to communicate (90% of H/W problems) - Col. 3:19
b. Causes parents to miss goals w/their children - Eph.6:4
c. In churches, issues may never be resolved because the real problem is
sinful anger that is not dealt with
10. Pro. 29:22 - "An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one
commits many sins."
DISCUSSION
I. What Anger is NOT. . .
A. Important: All anger is NOT Sinful!
1. Ps. 7:11 -
2. Mark 3:5 - Jesus & man with withered arm
B. Fact: There are times when anger is appropriate - Eph. 4:26
C. Important: Don’t think that it is right to be passive - Ie. "Nothing
bothers me. . ."
1. Ie. It is NOT "good" to be at peace while living in sin
2. It is not good to be passive with sin all around us
3. Note: Anger is an important emotion in our lives - It prepares us for action against things we need to confront!
4. Jesus didn’t say "Blessed are the peace lovers" (Matt.5:9)
D. So, there are two extremes:
1. "All anger is OK" (We excuse sinful behavior)
2. "All anger is sinful and wrong."
3. Both extremes are wrong
II. What Is Anger?
A. Definitions:
1. Webster’s - "Excessive emotion or passion aroused by a sense of injury or wrong"
2. Bible words:
a. "Orge" - the slow boil - slow to develop but long lasting - frequently with a view to taking revenge
b. "thumos" - The "explosion" - quickly blazes up & quickly subsides - "feeling of agitation"
B. A good working definition: "Anger is the God-given emotion intended to help us solve problems God’s way" - Ie Anger energizes the body & the mind - Makes us alert!
C. Examples of anger rightly used. . .
1. Gal. 2:11 - "Paul w/stood Peter to his face
2. 2Sam. 12 - Nathan confronted David
3. John 2: 13-18 - Jesus cleansed temple
D. Note: Anger is an emotion that every Christian has to deal with. . .
The question we need to ask ourselves is: "Am I using anger to solve
problems in God’s way? (Ie. at home? at church? at work? at school? Ie.
In face to face situations; in letters; on the phone; etc.
III. When Anger Becomes Sinful
A. When Selfishly Motivated - "I want my rights"; "revenge"
B. When God’s Goal in the Matter is Distorted (2Cor. 5:9)
1. 1Cor.10:31 - "Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."
2. Rom. 8:29 - God wants us ". . .to become conformed to the image of His Son. . ."
3. Jam. 1:19-20 - ". . .everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God."
C. When It is Allowed to "Linger" & "boil into bitterness" - Eph. 4:26-27
D. When it Attacks the Person Instead of the Problem - Ie. Name-calling -
Eph.4:29 - "Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear."
E. See OH - "What Makes Me Angry?"
IV. Sinful Anger Expresses Itself in Two Basic Ways
A. By "Blowing Up" "ventilating"
1. Ie. Samson in business meetings - "explode!"
2. "Give them a piece of your mind"; "storm out of the room"; "Slam the door"; "Hang up on the phone"
B. By "clamming up" - "Internalizing"
1. Ie. Cain’s "countenance FELL" (Ie. He sulked.")- Gen.4
2. Note: This is the response that pouts - retreats to the other room - cries - gives the cold shoulder
C. The problem: Neither response is looking for the solution -
V. Steps To Handling Sinful Anger
1. Recognize, Admit, & Confess the sin (Matt. 7)
"He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, But he who confesses & forsakes them will find compassion."
(Pro.28:13).
2. See God in your Trials - Gen. 50:20 - "As for you, you meant evil
against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present
result, to preserve many people alive." James 1:2-4
3 Make room for the wrath of God -
a. "But Joseph said to them, "Do not be afraid, for am I in God's place?" (Genesis 50:19).
b. Rom. 12:19 - "Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY," says the Lord."
c. Ie. Don’t play God!
4. Return Good for what you THINK is evil
a. "So therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones." So he comforted them and spoke kindly to them." (Gen.50:21).
b. Rom.12:21 - " Do not be overcome by evil, but. . ..".
5. Communicate to SOLVE the Problem - Eph. 4:25-32
25. "Therefore, laying aside falsehood, SPEAK TRUTH EACH ONE OF YOU WITH HIS NEIGHBOR, for we are members of one another. 26 BE ANGRY, AND YET DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and do not give the devil an opportunity. 29 Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.
31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
6. Act to Solve YOUR part of the Problem
a. Rom. 12:18 - "If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men."
b. Ie. Be God’s kind of person! -
CONCLUSION
1.Again: We might be thinking "Why should I be kind & loving to someone who
is so hateful and unloving to me???"
a. The answer is Jesus was - And, God commands us to!
b. We need to remember:: Jesus did not die for lovely people - He died
for ungodly sinners - Ie. for "enemies" - "Law-breakers" (Rom. 5:8)
2. We are to learn to love one another just like HE loved us! (even enemies!)
3. So, love has to replace anger
a. And, I have to understand that love, at first, is not a feeling - It is
GIVING!
b. Ie. In order to love, I have to give of self, time, money, energy ---
ANYTHING that it takes to show love! -- "IF YOUR ENEMY IS HUNGRY, FEED HIM, AND IF HE IS THIRSTY, GIVE HIM A DRINK; FOR IN SO DOING YOU WILL HEAP BURNING COALS ON HIS HEAD." (Rom.12:20).
4. Fact: God’s way will always work - Trust Him!
- - Boyd Sellers
